The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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