i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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