so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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