He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
