grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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