no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
