On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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