no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
