I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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