I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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