oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
