Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
