Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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