I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
