I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
