can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Say something about gay babies.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Randomize
