Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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