There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
