Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.

(303): View more from Colorado

and I must say, you were very persuasive

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(925): View more from California

While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."

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(360): View more from Washington

I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"

(425): View more from Washington

I want to be you.

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(716): View more from New York

Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??

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(516): View more from New York

That 2-CB was ass.

(845): View more from New York

You mean the asprin cut with pez?

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