...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
