Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
