Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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