dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
