DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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