Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
