We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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