you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
