I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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