You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So vagazzling was a success
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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