what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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