Whod you bang
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
