i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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