You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
