new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
