he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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