UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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