I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
