there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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