I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
