I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
