her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize