The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
FUCK WHALES
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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