And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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