the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
