Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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