I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
