Non-Jews are for practice
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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