Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
