what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
