I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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