just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
