Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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