Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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