My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
