So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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