So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
it was like eating out sand paper
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
