one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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