Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
